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Expect another Valverde disasterclass today. Lots of hanging on while Liverpool dominate the ball. Combined with the slow motion tiki taka which he prefers.

With Valverde always expect the expected. Cretinous coach.

Theo Walcott is a more appropriate comparison point than Titi Henry. Perhaps under a more sympathetic (read ‘better’) coach, he might reach the level of consistency Leroy Sané (not a high bar). He’s exciting to watch but he will never be a reliable player for Barça. Tant pis.

Sergi Roberto is pure shit.

In no way should Barça be considered favourites against Utd. Valverde is kryptonite and we are deprived of our superpowers with the Basque dwarf on the touchline.

Suarez the elite footballer should be referred to in the preterite tense. He is slower than he is fat. And he is really fat.

Tired, fat, slow and USELESS! Just for a change. The geriatric Messi and Suarez counter-attacking PSG or Juve will be comedy AMAZING!

Is anyone genuinely exited for today's match? Basque Barça vs Basque Eibar. Yawn. Expect Eibar to dominate second half as Barça sits back. Valverde's Barça are as TEDIOUS as the man himself.