Despite being American, I've never felt very connected with the national team. I don't equate football with nationalism so I don't feel like I need to be invested in how they do. I care more about players I like or those who play for clubs I like. I know a lot of people think this is the "wrong" way to feel (I argued with a few people about this during the last WC, but I don't think any of them post here anymore) but that's my opinion.
As for the style, I agree that I don't really see anything concrete or consistent. There is also still not enough quality to really be challenging on the world stage. However, as long as the sport is still low on the list of priorities in this country, I don't really see that changing. It is sad that there could be potential superstars in the US that never realize this. The vast majority of kids who play soccer quit before they're old enough to really tell and move on to other, more popular sports like basketball, baseball & American football.
However, I do think MLS as a league is making improvements (even if slowly). I'm interested to see where this new team in Florida ends up going & if they can attract good players besides ones whose careers are nearly finished. I'm also seeing a shift in the fanbase & atmosphere, the "family oriented" bit is still there but I'm also seeing glimpses of the European ultras atmosphere, at least in some cities like San Jose, Portland & Seattle. Going to an Earthquakes game now vs. going to one several years back, I definitely see a marked difference. More chants, more flags/banners, more organized groups. If I wasn't about to move to a city that has no professional club within a few hundred miles, I would probably be interested in going to more MLS games these days.
But basically, the way I see it - if MLS becomes an exciting league, more Americans will take an interest in the sport. If that happens, more will want to take up a career in it rather than just play as a childhood hobby. And when that happens, the talent pool will grow & we'll begin to see more quality in the national team.