AnfieldEd
I am Leg End
Add your own to the list 
1. Get a zany football shirt. Not a St Pauli one as they’ve become too mainstream. This year the shirt to have is Real Oviedo’s (preferably Abel Xavier era one). It will show you’re in the know and care about the little guy and that you follow Sid Lowe.
2. Do not under any circumstances miss the Guardian’s Football Weekly with James Richardson. From now on; you worship James Richardson. If anyone asks why, get misty eyed, stare into the distance and recall him “years back” on Channel Four holding up La Gazzetta dello Sport. Say it’s one of the enduring images of your childhood.
3. Tell people you were into the Zonal Marking back when it was Mantoman.com.
4. Buy Inverting The Pyramid. Read it cover to cover. Take shorthand notes to remember important terms like catenaccio, trequartista and Volante.
5. Inform everyone around you that Spain are playing with a false nine and yet, in your opinion, also a true ten. Allow yourself a smirk.
6. Set up a twitter account with a clever obscure football handle. For example: @JavierClementefirstsaidtikitaka
7. Consistently pour scorn on the Premier League. Say it’s the Hawaii Five-O to the Bundisliga’s The Wire. Say it has utterly lost the art of defending and that the perfect game ends 0-0.
8. Your favourite Barcelona player is no longer Messi. It's Busquets. Claim Michael Carrick is Manchester United’s most important player and that Andrea Pirlo should have won the Ballon D’or.
9. Hype up South American derbies like they are the biggest games in the world. Tell the world you cannot believe people are looking forward to Super Sunday on Sky when it’s only six hours until River and Boca play.
10. Have your telly run on Sky all day. SkyItalia that is.
11. Say Revista de La Liga has lost something since they sacked Mark Bolton.
12. Actively root for Luís André de Pina Cabral e Villas-Boas and always, always refer to him as Luís André de Pina Cabral e Villas-Boas.
13. At all times defend Zlatan Ibrahimovic. This is only tricky when talking about his time at Barcelona as he comes into direct conflict with fellow hipster God Pep Guardiola. In this instance, defend Zlatan’s record, cite his scoring and assist record but also cite that perhaps he was too much of an individual in the ultimate collective and that Pep needed to free Messi.
14. Adore everything about Borussia Dortmund. Visit the Westfalenstadion. Rename you cat Klopp.
15. Set up a blog. Write 4000 word pieces on how Falcao scores and stuff. Tweet every football journalist on twitter and ask for a RT.
16. Scrabble Blaszczykowski
17. Whenever England play ALWAYS say Kyle Walker should be playing at right back no matter what.
18. Assert that this Barcelona team is decent but nowhere near as good as Sacchi's Milan.
19. Only discuss Newcastle United en francais.
20. Forget CBs and DMs, we need Volantes, Trequartistas, Liberos and Registas. All hail the number 6
21 Pay a fortune for a Norwegian satellite feed to follow the progress of Molde.
22. Set up an African Cup of Nations twitter list for the duration of the tournament.
23. Wake up every morning and remember the great Yugoslav team that never was.
24. Only ever pronounce team names in the language of the country they're from so it's Reeeber y Boca in the Bombanerrrrrrro, Pareee-san-jyrmah and Ireland's Euro 88 game was in Ghel-sin-kirssshhhhhhh-en.
1. Get a zany football shirt. Not a St Pauli one as they’ve become too mainstream. This year the shirt to have is Real Oviedo’s (preferably Abel Xavier era one). It will show you’re in the know and care about the little guy and that you follow Sid Lowe.
2. Do not under any circumstances miss the Guardian’s Football Weekly with James Richardson. From now on; you worship James Richardson. If anyone asks why, get misty eyed, stare into the distance and recall him “years back” on Channel Four holding up La Gazzetta dello Sport. Say it’s one of the enduring images of your childhood.
3. Tell people you were into the Zonal Marking back when it was Mantoman.com.
4. Buy Inverting The Pyramid. Read it cover to cover. Take shorthand notes to remember important terms like catenaccio, trequartista and Volante.
5. Inform everyone around you that Spain are playing with a false nine and yet, in your opinion, also a true ten. Allow yourself a smirk.
6. Set up a twitter account with a clever obscure football handle. For example: @JavierClementefirstsaidtikitaka
7. Consistently pour scorn on the Premier League. Say it’s the Hawaii Five-O to the Bundisliga’s The Wire. Say it has utterly lost the art of defending and that the perfect game ends 0-0.
8. Your favourite Barcelona player is no longer Messi. It's Busquets. Claim Michael Carrick is Manchester United’s most important player and that Andrea Pirlo should have won the Ballon D’or.
9. Hype up South American derbies like they are the biggest games in the world. Tell the world you cannot believe people are looking forward to Super Sunday on Sky when it’s only six hours until River and Boca play.
10. Have your telly run on Sky all day. SkyItalia that is.
11. Say Revista de La Liga has lost something since they sacked Mark Bolton.
12. Actively root for Luís André de Pina Cabral e Villas-Boas and always, always refer to him as Luís André de Pina Cabral e Villas-Boas.
13. At all times defend Zlatan Ibrahimovic. This is only tricky when talking about his time at Barcelona as he comes into direct conflict with fellow hipster God Pep Guardiola. In this instance, defend Zlatan’s record, cite his scoring and assist record but also cite that perhaps he was too much of an individual in the ultimate collective and that Pep needed to free Messi.
14. Adore everything about Borussia Dortmund. Visit the Westfalenstadion. Rename you cat Klopp.
15. Set up a blog. Write 4000 word pieces on how Falcao scores and stuff. Tweet every football journalist on twitter and ask for a RT.
16. Scrabble Blaszczykowski
17. Whenever England play ALWAYS say Kyle Walker should be playing at right back no matter what.
18. Assert that this Barcelona team is decent but nowhere near as good as Sacchi's Milan.
19. Only discuss Newcastle United en francais.
20. Forget CBs and DMs, we need Volantes, Trequartistas, Liberos and Registas. All hail the number 6
21 Pay a fortune for a Norwegian satellite feed to follow the progress of Molde.
22. Set up an African Cup of Nations twitter list for the duration of the tournament.
23. Wake up every morning and remember the great Yugoslav team that never was.
24. Only ever pronounce team names in the language of the country they're from so it's Reeeber y Boca in the Bombanerrrrrrro, Pareee-san-jyrmah and Ireland's Euro 88 game was in Ghel-sin-kirssshhhhhhh-en.
oh dear
