A man who knows his beards is a man who has achieved the essence of life
I did a little statistical study:
Real Madrid's beard count:
-Alonso rocked the ginger beard
-Ramos pulled off his beard too
-Khedira's well groomed German goatee
-Isco rocked the scruff on his boyish face
-Arbeloa with that slicked back hair and facebush
-Carvajal the caveman
-Casillas/Lopez both got some moderate stubble going
-Benzema's ugly mutton chop looking shit, but it still counts
That's 9 to our ~5 (non-factors like Cuenca don't count, Neymar's blonde shit detracts from our beard bank, etc.)
As for Atletico, while they don't have quantity they certainly had quality with Villa Maravilla and Arda Turan rocking the greatest beard since Leonidas:
Both of those teams out-trophied us this season.
Conclusion: There is a direct correlation between beard power and club success.