Day 433 of the Mathieu Adventure Experience.
Tuesday the 29th of September in the year of our Lord, 2015. Outskirts of Barcelona, independent territory of Catalunya.
Dear Diary:
Today was a most horrific day. Perhaps the worst day I have ever encountered on this adventurous safari I denominate simply, "My Experience." Our day began in low spirits, owing to the fact we lost our most glorious and mythical leader to that nefarious and treacherous disease called Fever of the Left Knee. General Lionelihya Messi will be bed ridden and out of commission for up to eight weeks, I don't need to tell you, dearest diary, how depressed and unhappy we are at this most unluckiest of events.
The day then took a turn for the worst, particularly for me, when we met on the magnificent green prairies of the New Camp, those dirty, unwashed and bloodthirsty German barbarians that hail from Bayertis of Leverkusenis. Oh diary, what a miserable day they have wrought upon us on this most dreadful day. A particularly fearsome element of their clan, a Greek mercenary by the name of Papadopoupoupoupoulos of inhuman size and supernatural strength, took particular delight in pushing me aside as if he was tossing a used rag of cleaning cloth to punish our young MAtSfault. The poor lad has received grievous and unjust criticism from our party for my constant mistakes, but I cannot bring myself about to admit it is I who is failing.
I leave you now, dear diary, I must go drown my sorrows on wine and cigarette smoke. I must wash this depression away.
May the Adventure Experience bring brighter and better days tomorrow.
PS: That rascal Albasius has stolen the remaining cartons of cigarettes I had hidden under my mattress. I would confront him, but he has a most vicious temper and I fear he might sink his squirrely teeth in my soft pasty skin.