Yeah, bad luck Conor, you fell asleep for a whole season, here's what you REALLY missed.
Barça won La Liga, Messi scored 46 goals and Cronaldo missed the whole season after falling off a catwalk in a madrid fashion show and breaking his leg. Mandril finished 14th and Perez has sold the Bernebéu to Disney in order to repay the debts whilst the scum will groundshare with Getafe next season.
Despite their miserable league form madrid did make the CL final where they lost 5-1 to Lyon, Benzema scored mandril's goal but also scored twice for l'OL.
UEFA cancelled the Europa league halfway through the season because nobody was watching it, Espanyol won the copa del rey after beating madrid 4-0 in the final at the Bernebéu.
I've married Monica Bellucci but we've had to go into hiding because Gio is trying to have me assassinated.