I hope it's okay to post this here. It's the most hilarious thing ever
Real Madrid Appeal to UEFA about Messi Emergency Door Incident
It all started off after that champions league first leg. You know, the one that FC Barcelona won and Real Madrid lost, and produced such an epic soliloquy from Mourinho starting and ending with “por que” that it could have made Hamlet jealous. Ever since, UEFA has been besieged by appeals from Real Madrid against everything Barca, starting from the coach, captain to the head cook. It is rumored that hardly a day has passed since without RM filing a fresh appeal or re-opening a rejected appeal, or appealing against a Barca appeal, so much so that we hear UEFA is in a recruiting spree to handle the sudden demand. Here are the details on the latest appeal filed by Real Madrid against FC Barcelona’s Leo Messi.
1. “Football comes second” said Karanka, “This is a question of morality. Messi was clearly seen trying to crash the flight, and yet no action was taken by UEFA. We’d like to appeal to UEFA against Messi and also about a possible UEFA conspiracy”. Mourinho is still in his self-imposed press ban,
but was seen wandering about muttering “por que?” to himself.
2. Following Karanka’s statement, Real Madrid has filed two separate appeals against Messi and against UEFA, one on Thursday and another on Friday (owing to a new policy of not filing more than one appeal per day).
3. UEFA rejected the appeal against Messi on Friday, mainly because they have no jurisdiction over a player celebrating on a flight after a Liga game. They have suggested appealing to RFEF instead. RM’s appeal against UEFA has been received and will be processed on Monday.
4. RM reopened the dismissed appeal (against Messi) immediately on Friday after receiving the rejection (they have no policy against an appeal and a re-appeal on the same day). They will also send a separate copy of the appeal to RFEF on Monday (as their lawyers don’t work during weekends).
5. “Just look at the video” Xabi Alonso told the press.
It is rumored that Xabi has been this way ever since he found out that everyone who voted for him in last year’s Ballon d’Or meant to vote for Xavi instead.
6. UEFA disciplinary inspector has requested the Control and Disciplinary Committee to sanction Messi. Interesting, this is the same official who started the disciplinary hearing against Iniesta after the Shakhtar game and Busquets for the Marcelo incident.
7. RM has included photographic evidence in the re-appeal, as revealed below.
Please note the Leo Messi is seen covering his mouth when in conversation with Xavi, clearly indicating nefarious intent.
"I have an evil plan!"
8. After the disciplinary hearing was announced, RM has now denied any involvement with the incident, but has blamed poor handling by FC Barcelona for the current state of affairs. “We did not appeal against Messi” RM has now confirmed, “We merely sent UEFA a few videos and photos. UEFA is acting entirely on its own”.
9. “I hope they don’t ban Messi” said Barcelona VP Bartomeu, “He was not trying to crash the plane, but just having some fun”.
Bartomeu’s statement has since been construed to mean he supports terrorism.
10. AENA has received an anonymous appeal against FC Barcelona player, Leo Messi, with video evidence of Messi banging on the emergency door. They have, however, indicated their lack of jurisdiction to ban any football player from playing next season as the reason to dismiss the appeal.
http://fcbfandrivel.com/2011/05/15/real-madrid-appeal-to-uefa-about-messi-emergency-door-incident/