battle royal between barcelona and the capital circus? lets see how it would play out, position by position (in this past clasico):
defence:
valdes v casillas- pretty even. but casillas is a pretty boy so he wouldnt be as aggressive as valdes. valdez wins. :valdes:
dani alves v pepe- alves is a beast but pepe would win through foul play. pepe wins.
puyol v ramos.
enough said.
adriano v coentrao. im sure adriano wouldnt take shit but again, coentrao would weasel himself the win somehow. coentrao wins.
mascherano v arbeloa. arbeloa is a cunt but badgers dont give a shit. arbeloa could sting him with poison and mascherano would still kick his ass. mascherano wins.
midfield:
xavi v khedira. khedira's a pussy. xavi wins.
iniesta v ozil. ozil has a lot of attitude and iniesta really is a nice guy. given that ozil does not say anything about fuentealbilla (mi pueblo no se toca!) i think he would win. ozil takes this one.
thiago v alonso. hmm. though call. thiago is sassier. alonso is not a hothead. but alonso has size over him. ill give it to alonso on that.
busquets v di maria (i know di maria is more of an attacker but madrid did not field as many pure midfielders). this would be a funny one since they are both divers and relatively skeletal in their physicality. neither would impose on the other. ill give it to busquets though because he is more of a badass and di maria is easily the bigger girl out of the two.
attack:
messi v ronaldo. messi can be quite sassy himself but, whatever, im not going to argue something ridiculous here. ronaldo takes this one
tello v benzema. poor kid. the benz rolls him over. benzema.
substitutes:
note: positions on the field here dont count.
fabregas v granero. hmm. i dont think granero would be a dirty fighter, a pirate though he is. fabregas took on kanoute this season so he has balls. fabregas here.:cesc:
sanchez v callejon. callejon is a douchebag but alexis definitely imposes on him physically. hes pretty muscular as well. sanchez wins this one, though im sure callejon would even resort to biting and scratching if he had to.:alexis:
higuain v noone. he loses anyway.
staff:
pep v mourinho. mourinho uses eye poke. pep sees it coming so it isnt very effective. pep uses master troll
. mourinho is confused. "por que?" pep finishes him off with swag. pep wins here.
karanka v tito. tito expends too much energy protecting his eye. karanka says ronaldo is better than messi. tito is super confused. karanka finishes him. karanka.
score:
7-7
its a draw!