What the hell is this? Seriously?
I don't think I have ever felt as disconnected to the club as I do today with the signing of Benzema. I don't think I have been as disappointed in our management since the day we told Hierro to leave (which was more gutting than seeing Del Bosque and Makalele leave).
I do not identify with the club that I once knew. I really don't. I, sincerely hope, with all my love and appreciation for the club and for the sake of those years that I have enjoyed Real Madrid's success and bared with the failure that when all the dust settles down, I can still recognize the club that I love. I hope I can regain my silly optimism, but at the moment, I feel gutted. I am so angry.
I may be over reacting but all this piling up of unfortunate events is killing me from the inside. To learn that absolutely no one was able to stand up to Perez really did hurt me, considering this is a democratically run club, we ended up with no elections, no choice, we have been stripped of our right to vote and choose. Perez played within the rules, fair and square and I do understand that in order to get out of the mess we are in, we needed a strong personality. But we could not hold a democratic vote.
To learn that we have acquired the services of C. Ronaldo for an unprecedented fee after having to spend 65 million on Kaka was absolutely gutting. We have been warned indeed, and we have been told that we will spend a lot, and while we cannot blame Perez for this deal, these feelings I have do not start with Perez but with the idiocy of Calderon and Perez from before him. Perez or Calderon or whoever the fuck is or was running the decisions, I thought a democratic club listens to the fans. Clearly, polls did not want Ronaldo at the club, clearly there were preferred options. Ones who for better or worse, at least the fans can connect to those players.
Karim Benzema might very well score over 20 goals in his first season, he might be spectacular but where is the Spanish? Where are our Castilla? I have already conceded the fact that this whole Spanish/Castilla idea is nothing but mere lies and a farce. Why have we been so cheap towards our own identity yet spend lavishly on foreigners? What is our identity? Ok, we did buy a Spanish defender and recalled one of our own, but where is the respect to the players who have saturated the club's shirt with color in the palest of times? What has Benzema proven over The Hunt (who cost us 27 million euros)? What more does Higuain have to do to command a starting position? Why bring back Negredo when Raul will remain ahead of him? Why does Gago get his number stripped away for another player? I love Kaka and all, but was he there when Capello won us the first league in three years? Was Kaka there in Gago's place when we won the second league with a record breaking number of points? Gago fought a losing battle but never uttered a word. Been benched, subject to criticism, yet not once, ONCE, did he ever complain. Casillas made one mistake his entire career with Real Madrid, went off form under Schuster for a few weeks, yet saved this club in unparalleled ways, yet no one seems to give his words any weight. Wasn't this Di Stefano's model that the whole club was built upon? The colors of the shirt are only apparent by the sweat of the players who work hard, day in day out?
Where the hell is this club going? I lost track. I can't make any sense of it. Someone please tell me I am wrong and prove me wrong and help clear this ever condensing fog.